Of resilience, passion, learning and victory

I love learning. It makes me alive. It brings a sparkle to my eyes and a fire in my heart I didn't know I had.

There is absolutely no way I can describe how I feel about education - the thrill of not knowing something, the excitement of uncovering the truth, the joy and after glow of knowledge. Its like starting a new adventure every day, its like travelling to the unknown, its like being in love.

For the most part of my life, I sought new adventures, new hobbies, new experiences. I came across things I wanted to pursue - things I wanted to try out. However, I would do them for a week, and they would turn into a chore. My attention deficit brain would tell me to get out it as fast as I could. I remember taking a painting class on impulse one December - 5 days of oil painting at the National Art School. I had been sketching a lot and I enjoyed it. Why not pursue it for a week, I thought? I lasted 3 days before my brain started screaming for something else. Focussing on one thing for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week was something my brain was not wired for.

I was wrong - I discovered all I needed was a passion - something that would bring alive every fibre in my body and put a big happy grin on my face. Years of demystifying online marketing to clients and colleagues told me one thing - I love learning and I loved digital.

And so, when I walked into the campus of the University of Sydney and my spirits soared, I knew this was something my heart wanted.
However, it wasn't all rosy - Even as I was going through the motions of doing the course, I was plagued by uncertainties. Yes I knew I wanted this, yes I loved doing this, but is changing your career mid life a smart idea? What if I don't make a good educational designer? What if no one wants to hire me? What if the passion dies down? What if..what if...?

I had moments, no days, when there seemed no way out. I had bravely started my journey, but the end seemed just out of reach - like I was going to die of thirst with my outstretched hands a foot away from the water. It took me 9 months of applying for jobs every weekend, and not receiving a single call back to realise how much I wanted this, to realise how much I had put on stake, and to realise how much I was ready to lose to achieve this.

And today, its paid off. As I tentatively dip my toes into the world of education, I have big dreams in my eyes. I was extremely lucky to have parents who understood the value of education and supported me throughout my life. Not many Indian girls are - I hope to one day be able to make education accessible to all children alike. Irrespective of sex, age, background, nationality, education is a right and I want to be able to do my bit to ensure everyone gets it.

Wish me luck. 

Stumbling on Happiness – Daniel Gilbert

This has got to be one the most entertaining pysch books I’ve ever read. Think Douglas Adam writing about Nassim Taleb’s findings. Its smart, clever, and wickedly funny. It challenges the notions you’ve held your
entire life. It makes you think about your past decisions and then tells you what a delusional fool you are. It turns your brain into mush.
In short, the exact kind of book I’d wana read!

In fact this book will start blurring the lines between reality and perceptions. The further you go into this book, the more you start thinking of the story of the blind men describing the elephant. What is reality if not the world we build looking at it through the filters of our personal minds?
If anything this book has strengthened my view of the world as different shades of greys, instead of stark black and white.

The name of the book is slightly misleading though. This isn’t a self help book. This isn’t a manual on teaching you how to be happy. [Even if it WILL end up making you happy coz you will be laughing out loud so often!] The only thing it does is help you answer the very important question:
Why do we so often fail to know what will make us happy in the future?

We try and answer this question based on our limited past experience, use imagination to fill in details, and are far too accepting of its conclusions.
All errors.

I won’t ruin it for you, as I’d like you to read this yourself. In fact, highly recommend it as one of that rare breed of books that entertains you and yet makes you think about things differently. I promise you it will help you loosen up a little, question yourself a little more and make you a lot happier as you realise
some big errors you’ve been making.

Here are some gems strewn throughout the book. Spend a couple of minutes on each of the below thoughts and it will start giving you an idea of what to expect

• The general inability to think about absences is a potent source of error in our everyday lives.
[We think about all the joys of babysitting our nieces, but forget their
small annoyances, when asked to help out.]

• Stimulus can be interpreted by our brains based on preference.
[You might be confusing the thrill of going to a new restaurant, for attraction on your first date.]

• We regret foolish actions more than foolish inactions.

• We find positive experiences only when the psychological shock is intense enough. Intense suffering triggers the very process that eradicates it while mild suffering does not.
[Probably why we stick in really bad relationships but are unwilling to compromise a little in otherwise good partners.]

• We are happier when we don’t have a choice or cant escape a situation.
[As a Libran who has been tortured since 5 about things like which shoe to wear first – right or left, this was a significant find, may I add!]

• Imagination fills in (some details) and leaves out (others) without telling us coz we cannot forsee ever single detail. Imagination projects present into future. Hence, it fails to realise that things look different when they
happen.
[Which is why the best way to predict future is to look at somebody else’s present. We are all alike.]


And based on the last point, as you're clearly in no position to predict your future if you'd enjoy this book or not, you should look at someone else's present. [Me!] As I enjoyed it, I can pretty much guarantee you would too!

WALK IN HER SHOES

A couple of weeks back, on a whim (as I generally do) I decided to take up CARE's Walk In Her Shoes challenge and walk 10,000 steps (a little over 7kms) everyday for a week. This is the average women and girls walk every single day of their lives to get themselves enough water, food or firewood, to get through the day. 

Now, seeing that it was slightly more than the 10 steps I walk to the kitchen everyday (and complain if the zip tap on our floor is not working and I have to take the elevator up) I decided this was probably a good idea. 

Of course, I'm neither 14 nor 52 like some other women who do this are, nor was asked to do this with a child at my hip or a pot of water on my head, this supposed to be easier for me. Not to mention I was doing this was for a mere 7 days. 

Keeping all this in mind, here's what I thought. "Dear Shaheen, you run about 2-3 times a day, averaging 5-6kms, and walk quite a bit around. Of course, you can do the 7kms. But hmm.. lets see if you will last seven days. And walk Every.Single.Day."

You see, the challenge I expected to face was discipline. The only thing I have in common with these kids other than my gender, is.. well, the age of my attention span. 

Let's just cut the story short, and say I was proved wrong. 

Day 1, I was loving it. I walked to work and back, hit about 11,000 steps and was feeling pumped. Day 2, I could feel my thighs and glutes, as I lay down in bed. Day 3, I went to bed early. And by day 4, I was sleeping in 10 mins extra.

By day 7, I was wondering if I could do this for another week. 

OK, so Shaheen is not as tough as she sounds. 

Point being - It's hard work being these women. 

You know, I grew up watching women labourers carrying heavy loads on their heads working under the brutal Indian sun in construction sites.

And unfortunately, moving to a more developed country, I had forgotten what that was like.

I remember now. 

The least I can do now is to encourage you to donate to my page. My friends have generously donated $275 already, but with another $70, Care will be able to create a veggie patch in a village. 

Together, hopefully, we can stop some more women from walking 7kms everyday.

https://walkinhershoes2013.everydayhero.com/au/hajira-shaheen

Understanding comics. - by Scott McCloud

Comics. We all love them. In the same way that we love singing in the shower. Or the goofy class comedian.
Adore them, but never respect them. And that’s what this book aims to change. Scott McCloud challenges the notion that comics are juvenile with ‘bad art and guys in tights.’ And boy, does he do it well! 

Scott begins off with the history of ‘comics’ or ‘illustrated arts’ drawing it back to the cave paintings and Egypt’s papyrus scrolls. One of the first ‘aha’ moments you will have during the course of this 200 page book.

And then, throughout the book, using the medium of illustrations himself, he subtly explains the tactics used by illustrators to send across their messages. 

Very deftly, throughout the book, he guides us in understanding the games these illustrators play on our minds to evoke emotions, set moods and storytell better. 

Changing lines, colour, size and shape of panels, mixing up words and drawing, these illustrators play with your mind. As you read the book you cannot help but feel that a forgotten painting is being restored to its glory. 


And you suddenly have new found respect for these ‘cartoonists.’

                                                

One that will force you to change the way you see them.
Comics are a 2D representation of life. As an art, they have more than a few challenges. And the only tools at the disposal of the illustrators are a pencil and paper. And to think they use just those to set the stage, tell their story, keep us engaged, express complex emotions and master concepts like time, motion and feelings.

I know I stopped a few times when reading the book, and went, “Hunh, funny I never thought of it that way.” It’s a fascinating book, to say the least... I have three words for you - Go read it. 

After all, there is only one thing he asks of you. 

Hiking the Blue Mountains

HIKING THE BLUE MOUNTAINS

I love hiking. It's my equivalent of a 'Zen' moment. I am never alone when out walking. It calms me, it relaxes me... It makes me feel insignificant. It makes me feel grateful. 

My favourite day out would be to pack a picnic lunch, go on a long hike, read by a river, watch the sun set and lie gazing at the stars. The romance of being in a forest is unmissable - the smell of the trees, the sounds of the birds, the feeling of exploring the unknown, and being so close to nature fills me with wonder and leaves me with a smile on my lips, and a glow on my face. Yes, I love am hopelessly in love with hiking. 

So, when chatting with a friend, reminded me of this email I'd sent some friends a few years back, I figured I needed to share this. Nostalgia flooded and I decided to publish it. So here you go, guys. One of my favourite places, doing on of my favourite things to do. 

This is one of those things I just HAD to write about. Crazy fun. No logic. Great company (read 'myself.') So, here's how it happened:

With exactly 3 days left in Australia, I decided I needed to do one more hike in the rainforests around Sydney. With most of the locales I chose about 3 hours train ride from Sydney, I decided to go back to Blue Mountains. It was slightly raining in Sydney, and I kind of had an idea that up in the mountains, the weather would be worse. But well, I had woken up and decided I wanted to do it, so went ahead. Geared in my sweater and jacket, I reached the station. The train from Town Hall reached Central at 9:18 and I was told I had exactly 3 minutes to get onto the train to the Blue mountains. In perfect filmy style, I ran up the stairs onto Platform 13. In one split second, I saw the raised hand of the guard heard the "Doors closing. Please stand...." A cinematographer would put me in slow motion as I ran into the train car and the doors slid shut behind me.

Now sure that I was destined to do this hike, I sat down enjoying the view. Reaching Katoomba, the weather was predictably cold and foggy. It started raining by the time I reached the Information Center and my jeans were wet. Indecision and doubts started swirling in my head, much like the fog outside. I realised that the more difficult the circumstances became, the more stubborn I got. I just had to do it now!

Reaching the Information Center, I decided on the Echo Point Hike. It takes one down the Giant Stairway about 1000 steps, and then across the rainforest for another 3 kms, before moving up the 1100 steps beside a series of cascades. All pumped up I started descending the steel stairs. My knees started wobbling by the time I reached the end of the stairs and was thinking why exactly was I doing it, when I looked up at the forest. Water dripping from the trees, the forest floor covered with lichen, fog around the branches of the trees, the whole atmosphere created a mystery and a romance that left an indelible impression on my mind. As I started walking, I felt a happiness for no reason. High on life, is what I was.

I crossed several tiny creeks that were swollen now with the rains. I jumped over fallen branches. I inhaled the fresh crisp autumn air. For the briefest second, the sun came out. It felt like I was in the theater, and several spotlights had been turned on, all at once. Light sieved through the leaves, and the fog seemed to vanish. I almost forgot to breathe! To add to the climax, a lyre bird appeared out of nowhere and hopped into one of the under growths. I watched the magnificence of the forest unfold before me, dumbstruck!

Taking a few moments to capture the memory on the film of my mind, I moved on. Soon, I reached the Leura forest which had some shelter. Stopping there, I had a picnic with Vitamin Water and Chocolate Muffin. The water had seeped into my bag by now. My jeans were weighing a ton. Taking all the practical measures, I secured my camera, and rolled up my jeans. The half inch of water in my soggy shoes could not be helped. So, I walked on towards the Stairway that would take me up.

The first cascade I reached was Margherita Falls. It allowed me just a sneak view of the falls through the trees. Just enough to see it, and wanting to see more. I wandered a little off the trail until I could fully catch the majesty of the high falls. Climbing the steps in bouts of a 100 each, made it simpler. Not to forget the constant view of waterfalls and overhanging cliffs. I lose count of the number of times, I took one turn and beheld a totally different view from what I had seen a second before. Light and rain played tricks as I watched the magic.

Finally, I almost reached the top of the stairs, and the trees cleared. The heavy fog returned, and through the fog, I saw a cafe. Entering it, I ordered a hot chocolate. The friendly lady chatted with me as I dipped my marshmallow into the chocolate and dried my soaking clothes. Time was soon up and I left the warm cafe and started towards the train station.

Next day, I could not help smiling as I woke up. I closed my eyes again and relived the forest. The Romance of being there.  Reality struck, as my thighs groaned when I stepped out of the bed...

So there you go. Now you know what makes me tick. 

Go, do this yourself. Find a track to walk on - by the beach, in the forest or just in your city. Take detours, sit under a tree. Disconnect from the world, and connect with yourself. 

Happy birthday to me!

That sums up pretty well how I felt exactly a week ago.

It was my b’day and, to tell you the truth, I had an amazing one this year. From dinners, to brunches, to high teas. From gifts to personal emails to calls from all over the world. I was surprised, I was pampered, I was loved. I was made to feel special, and I loved every minute of it. 

Bdays, in general, make me absurdly happy!! They are my SPECIAL'EST day.. I wait for them all year round, and am inexplicably happy. For not just that day, but the entire week. 

And in my own silly romantic way I want it to be a special day for not just me, but for all the people close to me. I am happy and I want to share my piece of happiness with you. I want to love you and be loved… 

A bunch of flowers on my b’day mean more to me than diamond jewellery the week after. A small gesture, a hug - an indication you care.

That’s all it takes.

But it's now time for return gifts. A huge Thanks to all my friends. ...And this is where words fail me. 

Thanks for remembering me, cherishing me, loving me and caring for me. I truly believe I have the best.

Thanks for for the laughs we shared and the scandals we created, for the impromptu chats and the international calls, for the text to say you're thinking of me, for carrying me through my moments of pain and despair.

Thanks for being there.

I love you all. 

Fuelling my theatre fix

I’ve always loved the intimacy of theatre and specially, community theatre. After California, where I would often visit the Mountain View theatre to indulge myself (and saw the extremely impressive ‘Life of a Travelling Salesman’ by the Jewish theatre company), I found myself looking for something similar here in Sydney.

Thankfully, a friend of mine introduced me to Newtown’s theatre group, called ‘Crash Test Drama,’ As awesome as that name is, the fun bit is what they do. A bunch of playwrights get together and submit 10 min scripts. And on the day, actors and directors show up, pick up a script and then perform after rehearsing within an hour! So, its fast paced, fun and hilarious. [I know because on my first time there to watch, I somehow got pulled into acting in one of the plays! A snobby foreigner-model, nonetheless! Ahem…]

Anyway, Crash test Drama then led to Short and Sweet (http://www.shortandsweet.org/sydney) run by the same friend and again comprising of similar short 10 min plays.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to attend many other nights (the festival runs over 3 months), but did manage to get into one of the finals, this weekend. Have to say it was good fun! The variety you see is quite interesting, most were funny and light, some downright intense, while others managed to strike a balance between portraying a serious issue in a light vein.

The acting in some of the plays blew me away, as did the creativity. Not having access to the props and budgets that big productions have, community theatre thrives on the strength of their actors, directors, playwrights and supporters. And I have to admit, inspite of seeing some big productions, the ones I remember are the ones I saw in a dark small theatre, so close to the actor that I thought they were acting for me. ..and that is the power of community theatre.

So, all in all, if you’ve been thinking of checking out the theatre scene in your local city, cannot recommend enough that you do that now. Right now!